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May 29th 2010

I saw my mother for the first time in a year. It was clearly evident that for years she has been taking care others, and neglecting the care of herself. She looked, and I use this word cautiously, "TIRED". I only say this because I see my mom and I want the best for her, not because I wish she had made different decisions. I understand that she has gone through a lot, but now that her mother has died she says things like " I don't know who to take care of now" "who am I suppose to help next?" I know she knows that "herself" is the person she really needs to help. But she has to be the one to make that decision right?

Claire, my sister, went into labor last night. I got to spend time with her husband, who is as red neck, local bread, right winged, as they come. As I was sitting waiting with him, his phone rang the ring tone goes " I AM BARACK OBAMA... BANG BANG.. (bullets hit the floor) " Yes.. as in shooting. Every time the family is together he always ends up having to go "do something" anything from the laundry to picking up a check. My sister was in labor 8 Cm dilated, and he left to run an errand. It's not my business, but really?

My father had sympathy pains while Claire delivered and after the baby was born. He paced holding his stomach, breathing deep, contracting. You would have thought he was having a child as well. I got to go see Claire first. I walked to the nurses station and asked if I could bring the baby to the room with her. She said "sure give me just a minute" She wheeled out a little baby boy and I started tearing up. We walked down the hallway and I was staring at him with joy. We walked into the room only to see someone else in the bed. I said "That's not my sister" The nurse went "Oh.. this is there baby! Sorry!" The baby wasn't even my nephew! I finally get in the room to see Claire and little Jacob. My other nephew, and my dad Bill join moments later. The nurse came in to give Claire a shot, my dad screamed in pain while Claire just sat there. He dramatically expressed how big the needled was.. over and over again. Little Jacob is really cute. I'm happy that he is a healthy baby!

Meanwhile, Mysty Meadows has been kicking my ass! From the 14 hour shifts to the amount of work that goes with it. I'm getting used to the tasks at hand, but I am not used to it being this slow. I came back to put some money in the bank, and pay off my car. I'm not making any money. No seriously.. very little money. I trust that it will pick up soon.

I had a meeting with the manager about "team work." I choose to help every other associate that I work with, because I think that we are a team. I learned that years ago. I think that's the only way a business can operate. She told the whole staff about it and I already see a difference in other people's work ethics. Rather than "complaining" about the laziness I saw in others, I'm going to come from love, and help them. In return, maybe they'll help me? Who knows.. all I know is that I feel good helping them.

Last night, I waited on a lady who was celebrating her 40th birthday. She was there with her husband having an intimate dinner. She was my first serenade song of the season! The lady told me that it was the most personable thing she ever had, asked me to record it and send it to her. Last year I was singing with two of the top ten best theatre directors in L.A. in theatrical performances. This year, in Farmville Pa to paying customers. Well.. here I just may get a bigger tip.

This is what I Resorted To~

KMS

Preserve my ego

May 25th 2010

Yesterday, I hit rock bottom. I had to walk into the Wal-mart to refill a prescription. What a zoo this super center is. It's insane how they have monopolized small towns. After wal-mart I headed up to Mysty Meadows. Gwen and Rob had a few days off. They took a "trip into the city" together. That's what people do here. Pittsburgh, "the city" as they call it, is an HOUR drive. It has very little traffic, and on country roads. Yet, people continuously feel that it is to far to get to. I'm sure I will hear all about there big "trip" when they get back. It was my final day of training. Craig, the naive, awkward boy who I initially trained was training me again. I had to really struggle with my ego. He was telling me how to do everything for wipe a plate to reminding me to smile. I wanted to burst and say "I'm not a fucking retard.. I know what I'm doing" However, he is very sweet and was coming from a good place. So I struggled through it and just said "Thank you". Another "ego" problem I am struggling with is the poor service skills, lack of team work, and well just shear laziness other associates have. If I'm hired to do a job, I'm going to do my best. Isn't that what I've been learning in training?

I must have done the work of three people last night. A new associate, Brendan, is young, slow, and in my opinion just not right for the dining room. I did all his side work and helped him flip his tables. Otherwise we would have been there until mid-night. ( we can't leave until all the work is done)

I got out of work at 11:00 pm. I had a voicemail from a california number. I found out that I had booked a webseries that I auditioned for a few months ago. In the moment, I screamed "FUCK" in parking garage. I called the producer back and let him know that I would not be able to take the role. He was understanding, and said he'd be in touch for future projects. Everything happens for a reason... right?

I woke up early this morning to drive to New Jersey with my dad. He is so excited that I am coming to my grandma's funeral. I didn't even have my eye's open before his rays of sunshine were bursting in my face and talking my ears off. I hadn't told my mom yet that I was able to get the time off of work to come to the funeral, and was planning on calling her. My dad was insistent to make it a "joyful surprise" when we arrive at the grave side service in the cemetery! I was thinking my mom would already have enough mixed emotions... she didn't need another. I decided to call and let her know. Getting ready to leave the house now. Seven hours in the car with big papa.

This is what I've resorted to!

~KMS

The Staff

May 23 2010

I had the first bathroom "situation" with my dad. I don't get how there are thousands of L.A. apartments that manage to get 2 bathrooms in them, but in my dads 3 story, 3 bedroom house, with a full basement.. he only still has 1 bathroom. At 6:00 am this morning I wake up for work. Wanting to quickly hop in the shower and head to my long day. Well, I clearly should have communicated this with old Bill. For some reason he was up showering on Saturday... bright and bubbly, cleaning his hair. As I paced back and forth waiting to use the restroom. Until I finally knocked "dad".. "OH JESUS.. you scared".. he screams while in the shower. I ran in used the restroom and left. I have still yet to get my shower.

I made it through my first double shift. I arrived at the Mystic Meadows Hotel at 6:30 am and did not get home until around 4 am. Let me just say.. that the nobody likes the breakfast shifts. We have 800 people who work at night and there were 3 who worked this morning! We usually will get a bunch of anxious golfers who just want to make there T-time! So they have to hurry in, eat and leave.

I worked with another associate named Craig. His first year was when I was there years ago. I trained him.. and now I was working under him. He is very shy, and naive. I could tell he felt a little awkward because I still know a lot about "how things work" and he is still.. well shy and naive. It got so busy they had me start taking orders. On my 2nd day.

After breakfast I got a phone call from my mother. My mother moved from her intermediate family a few years ago to take care of my grand-parents. Two 90 year olds. Over the past 5 years she has gone through an e-motional roller coaster of death and torment. She has lost not only most of her family, her own life. My grandmother, is 95 and is the last one alive. Still fiesty and kicking. Until yesterday morning. The funeral is scheduled for Wed. in New Jersey. I think I'm going to attend. Perhaps its the universe showing me another reason why I was supposed to be on the east coast this summer?

I went to my friend Gwens house in between shifts. She lives on the mountain, but not "on property" Gwen and I met years ago, but became very fast, close friends when I first worked for Mystic Meadows. I must have been to her place hundreds of times, but she still gets insecure about me coming over if it's to "messy". I understand the want to have your place to looking nice... but we're practically family.

Dinner shift starts at 4:00. When walking in I saw someone I went to high-school with "hey there's my celebrity" he said. ... If you really want to feel like a celebrity, live in a small town for a short while, move to L.A. do a couple of little projects and put them on your facebook. I should be writing a blog called "how facebook made me famous" Back to the dinner shift.

This is the more exciting shift where we have to be on our A game. Every head server has an assistant with them for there tables. I'm still in training.. so I'm assisting the assistant. I was the only seasonal associate ever to get the Food and Beverage associate of the month award for head server... and now I'm assisting the assistant.

Let me fill you in on a few of the associates I work with. First there is Bessie. She has been at Mystic Meadows forever. She is slightly older than everyone, slightly heavier, always in charge, and believes EVERYTHING she see's on the news. Her serving style is very professional, proper, and profitable. Next is Rob. Rob is an attractive, smart man. He has is also slightly older, but a little more educated. However, I think he is slightly "bi-polar" in the personality department. One minute he sweet as can be, the next he is just a bottled up rocket of anger... over nothing.. which he then takes out on other people. Rob and Gwen are dating.... I try to stay out of it. Oh did I mention that Gwen works there with Rob? Then there is Audrey. Audrey is a very sweet, beautiful young girl. I think Audrey has a lot of potential, but she is one of the many people who have stayed in the bubble of Farmville Pa, never left, and does not know that there are so many other options out there. She was raised a specific way, and I think in her head that is THE ONLY way. There are more "supporting" players and "guest" appearances that will pop up. I'm sure. I'm lucky to be friendly with all of them. They, on the other hand are not all friends. Audrey doesn't like how Rob treats Gwen so she feels that it's her problem, and gets stressed about it. Mean while, Gwen seems to happy and figuring out Rob for herself. I think they will eventually get married. Like most relationships, they have kinks, so they will choose to either work them out or not.

Service went smoothly.... Rob was upset because a lady bought a $30.00 glass of wine that we needed to comp off. She read the wine book incorrectly and thought that it was $5.00. She was looking at the table of contents... it said Page five! That's just one example of the people we have to deal with. Being that this beautiful resort is located in the poorest county in PA, we occasionally will attract some uncultured individuals. When that happens, we need to accommodate them. After work, on the weekend, the staff goes for drinks at "Harley's" a biker bar across the street. Gwen and Rob were already there, when I walked in with Audrey. I now felt torn going back and forth talking with Audrey and Gwen because they were on separate sides of the bar. I didn't let it ruin my time. As you read.. I didn't get home until 4 am! Oh the self control that I lack. " oh come on just have one drink" well.. don't need to twist my arm. Here's a toast to my Grandma!!

I made it home and into bed safely. Back to work tomorrow!

This is what I have resorted to!

~KMS

He takes the floor.

May 21st 2010

This is going to be short. I had my first night back in the restaurant. I was excited and nervous. Things have changed so much. What was once a slower service with finer dining experience, has become a faster more money making operation. I can understand that... But why go overboard in training us to "personalize a guests experience" when we don't get the time with them like we used to?

Everyone, again, remembered me. A new hire even "recognized" me from a Dorito's spec commercial I did.. that of course half of my hometown had seen. The former owner/founder of The Resort showed up, and was very happy to see me. He will never forget me because I was the only associate who ever spilled stuff all over him. Literally... tomato juice on his head, and orange juice down the front of his jacket. I got a promotion after that happened. He asked about California and how my life was out there.

It nice knowing that I made such an impression on people... but tough because every time I meet some one new I hear " I've heard a lot about you". I've learned to laugh at it.. and respond with the same thing. Or say things like "oh.. and i've heard even more about you!!" Or if people ask about acting.. I'll say, "yeah haven't you seen my episode of America's Most Wanted?"

I wanted to bitch so much tonight about so many things being different. but I thought about it. Instead of bitching and being frustrated about where I am on the "Totem Pole" at work right now.. I'm just going to have to do what I did before. Through myself completely into the job. I mean really... what else do I have? Tomorrow I work a double shift. I have to be there by 7:00 am I just got home and it's almost 1:00am. Here we go!

This is what I have resorted to!

~KMS

I'll take an order of Love with a side of staying Present!!

May 19th 2010

I found today to be one of the most challenging days since my return to the slums of PA. I'm sure it's a combination of the continuous grey, cold, wet weather, the argument with my father, or all the preparation to start work on The Resort.

I got to work early, passed my drug test, and then went to see an old friend. This was the most refreshing part of the day. She looked great, we laughed together like old times, and it was exciting to see her. However, she is working in a different area than before, so I will most likely not see her as much as I did when I worked here in my younger days!

We had guest speakers today, all of which knew me. By the end of the day, it was routine for someone to get up, look at me, and say "OH MY!" "HEY.. WELCOME BACK!!" I can appreciate the love, but there is something that is making me feel rather "shy". Still not quite sure yet. I'm finding it difficult to live in the present today, and to just enjoy being "on property" I did make friendly with the other associates. Showing them around during the tour, answering questions, and being a guide. I am the only "re-hire" of the group.

After the tour, lunch, and the final guest speaker.. we get to head over to the our destination outlet. ( The place where will be working) There are 3 hotels on property. I'm fortunate to be working in not only one of the best restaurants and the nicest hotels on property.. but in the country as well.

I drive the few other associates over to the other hotel, showing them some of the many 2000 acre property. We all then got fitted for our uniforms. I stood in the locker room, staring at myself in the mirror. Looking at myself in the uniform... it's still hard to believe I was standing here, wearing these clothes again. I thought the same thing walking through the dining room. So many memories flashed through my head. I got my schedule before I left. I start training on the floor this week. Must stay confident, and present!

When I got home I was able to talk with my dad for a minute when my sister and nephew showed up. We were all enjoying a little food that my dad made when he says " did you notice what I did for you in the bathroom?" Instead of answering kindly, I had defenses build up. My whole life my dad would "do things for us" and them hold them over our heads. So the second he says "what I did for you"... my first thought is... "well I didn't ask him TO DO SHIT"... so... I say.. in a very calm tone ... "well, you did it for yourself really"... meaning that, (you made space/arranged the cabinets and drawers.. only because YOU didn't like that they were cluttered... Not "to do it for me") This is exactly what I think right away... which probably wasn't the best response. I could have easily said "no.. I didn't notice: :-).. or "yes, thank you for making space".. but instead.... I chose to think my dad didn't like the clutter I made, so he cleaned it up. So when responded with that.. my overly sensitive father does not take that well.... and he FLIPS OUT! "YOU TWIST MY WORDS" "YOU'RE A LIAR, LIAR, LIAR, LIAR, LIAR, LIAR, LIAR," "YOU DON"T LISTEN!"......"I CAN'T TAKE IT.. I CAN'T TAKE THIS!! OH GOD!"..... I am not one to scream.. I sit there and calmly listen. Afterwards I apologize. However, seeing this causes me to struggle with the idea of staying here for a few days, let a lone months.

I have issues with wanting to respond with love. I need to respond with love and live in the present. Always. I think it's funny that I working at a job where I need to be overly hospitable and living with a person who is overly sensitive..... and I am struggling with patience and love. Two of the most important things that come with those topics.

This is what I have resorted to

~KMS

How may help you?

May 18th 2010

I officially had my first day of work today at the resort. I began my drive up the mountain at 9:30 this morning to begin orientation. I made it through the cold rain and fog, passing dead deer after dead deer carcass, the amish colony and a local dive biker bar. When, just up the hidden drive way sits the sunshine and hidden heaven. The Resort. It's really oddly placed. I mean why is one of the best resorts in North America in one of the poorest county's in PA?

I was dressed to the nines in my designer tight black pants, fitted button up, and tailored jacket. I marched in to H.R. confident. Right away, they knew who I was.... they were so excited to hear about "L.A." life. I however, over prepared for my drug test.... and just wanted to use the bathroom.

After going about ten times I sat through an abundance of ridiculous videos. I do have to mention the video about the owners. Here are two professional business people, they are very smart with money, but that introductory video has to be the cheesiest, most comical thing I have ever seen. I found myself laughing a little to loud.

I didn't get to talk to a lot of people there, however one person caught me saying I lived in CA. She asked where and what I did. After I kindly responded she was so curious to know the "FAMOUS PEOPLE" I met. I just laughed it off. Most people usually respond with a "oh I've been to Vegas"... That's the big place for my town. People here either go to Vegas or Miami. That's the only vacation destination... nothing else.

I was amazed how passionate the workers are here. They LOVE there job. They have lingo's like "on property" we say "associates" not employee. Servers, not waiters, and probably a lot more that I'll fill you in on. Most important is how they stress the service skills. I'm happy that I'm getting lessons over and over on how to be nice.

They repeatedly talk about the "local" competition resorts... and how "we can be a sales person to take business away from them." I appreciate there passion, but the dynamic of their approach is almost psychotic.

The resort is a AAA five diamond and Mobil Five Star. Which is the best of the best. With this comes the highest standards possible. Due to this, in orientation, they are EXTREMELY vocal about the importance of guest relations. For someone who has never been there, it can be intense.

Later tonight I met up with an old friend who likes to surround herself with drama. I don't think this person has ever been single, relaxed, or even taken a deep breath!

The entire time we are together I do nothing but hear about her new man. Now, don't get it twisted, congrats on the new person. But people need to know when to stop! Really... I don't need to hear the encyclopedia of text messages over dinner! Literally... she sat and read me texts they shared for the past month. I think I zoned out after day 2... otherwise I would have asked her to stop.

After dinner we went to another local bar, when I walked in I saw three people I knew... all of which who have followed my career. It was kind of cool to have people ask me things. It's so weird living in such a small town, you can do the smallest projects, and have it be such a "big deal."

Tomorrow I go back to the resort. I hope to get a good nights sleep, but my father has sleep apnea and he tends to breath/snore loud. He refuses to use the machine the doctor's gave him to help him sleep. Instead, he claims "Nutri-system will help with my diet, which will help me sleep." Nutri-system and Wal-mart seem to be my fathers answers for everything.

I'm going to pick out my outfit for tomorrow. I'm considering to blend in with the rest of the "Men". Today nearly every guy wore the same middle america outfit. Baggy Khaki pants, colored shirt, with sneakers. Somehow.. that just doesn't say dressed up to me.

This is what I resorted to~

KMS

The First Course

Monday May 17th 2010

I have temporarily left my life as an actor in Los Angeles. Why?.... I'm still asking myself that, but I'm sure I will get the answers over the next few months. As I was driving across the country I missed L.A. every day, more and more. The sun is always shining, the mountains, the oceans, and of course my friends. I was very blessed with work in L.A. whether it was commericals, t.v., stage, or production... I kept busy... and I loved it.

I arrived yesterday to my suburbia Pittsburgh home. My very animated, over-emotional, but loving father was waiting on the porch, excited, for me to drive up. He could not wait to have me home. I wasn't even home five minutes before he wanted to cook me dinner. He was so excited about these roasted garlic mashed potatoes... in a Betty Crocker bag. "They only have 80 Calories" he proclaims. I kindly passed on the potatoes and went for the frozen chicken. While making the chicken in the oven he dropped the cover of the dish and it landed on the glass screen of the oven cracking it. My dad SCREAMED " OH SHIIIITT WHYY WHY WHY WHY IS ALL THIS HAPPENNING" You would have thought the world was going to end. I calmly offered to help him clean up, he turned his back and walked away.. not wanting to talk to me.

An hour later, after he curled up in a ball and cried on the couch while watching t.v., he came back down stairs and asked if I would help him clean it up. When he looked at the oven, only the inside part cracked, not the outside and my chicken turned out fine.

The best part of the evening was when I got to see my nephew. He was quite the bundle of joy. He's about to turn 4 years old. My sister is a great mom, but there is something I must say about my sister, she is a little.....developmentally challenged. My dad dropped her on her head when she was a baby and it caused slight bleeding on the brain.... however you can never mention this topic to him or he will "FREAK OUT", because of this my parents never really considered if my sister had some type of social or educational problem. But, so you understand, I think of her to have high functioning aspergers.

So that is what I'll be living with for the next few months. Tomorrow I go in for my Orientation to be working on a fancy resort where I have to be excessively hospitable to people. Once upon a time that was easy. But living in L.A. it's quite easy to develop an "ego", a sarcastic sense of humor, and a " I don't give a fuck" attitude.

This is what I have Resorted To!

~KMS