Preserve my ego

May 25th 2010

Yesterday, I hit rock bottom. I had to walk into the Wal-mart to refill a prescription. What a zoo this super center is. It's insane how they have monopolized small towns. After wal-mart I headed up to Mysty Meadows. Gwen and Rob had a few days off. They took a "trip into the city" together. That's what people do here. Pittsburgh, "the city" as they call it, is an HOUR drive. It has very little traffic, and on country roads. Yet, people continuously feel that it is to far to get to. I'm sure I will hear all about there big "trip" when they get back. It was my final day of training. Craig, the naive, awkward boy who I initially trained was training me again. I had to really struggle with my ego. He was telling me how to do everything for wipe a plate to reminding me to smile. I wanted to burst and say "I'm not a fucking retard.. I know what I'm doing" However, he is very sweet and was coming from a good place. So I struggled through it and just said "Thank you". Another "ego" problem I am struggling with is the poor service skills, lack of team work, and well just shear laziness other associates have. If I'm hired to do a job, I'm going to do my best. Isn't that what I've been learning in training?

I must have done the work of three people last night. A new associate, Brendan, is young, slow, and in my opinion just not right for the dining room. I did all his side work and helped him flip his tables. Otherwise we would have been there until mid-night. ( we can't leave until all the work is done)

I got out of work at 11:00 pm. I had a voicemail from a california number. I found out that I had booked a webseries that I auditioned for a few months ago. In the moment, I screamed "FUCK" in parking garage. I called the producer back and let him know that I would not be able to take the role. He was understanding, and said he'd be in touch for future projects. Everything happens for a reason... right?

I woke up early this morning to drive to New Jersey with my dad. He is so excited that I am coming to my grandma's funeral. I didn't even have my eye's open before his rays of sunshine were bursting in my face and talking my ears off. I hadn't told my mom yet that I was able to get the time off of work to come to the funeral, and was planning on calling her. My dad was insistent to make it a "joyful surprise" when we arrive at the grave side service in the cemetery! I was thinking my mom would already have enough mixed emotions... she didn't need another. I decided to call and let her know. Getting ready to leave the house now. Seven hours in the car with big papa.

This is what I've resorted to!

~KMS